Ep. 3/ Mess, But Like of the Hot Kind
The Poetry of Young Adulthood
In the first episode of Friends, when Monica hugs Rachel and says, "Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it," something, somewhere in every adult's heart reverberated with relatability. Now that I'm in my mid-twenties (wait, what? When did that happen? Anyway, I digress), I think I'm beginning to understand what she truly meant. As I reflect on my own journey through young adulthood, it's become apparent that my life is built with paper-thin walls, and so is everyone else's. I'm always just as starved and stranded as the next person. I've realized people all around me are stumbling in the debris of dreams they thought they were entitled to and plans they hadn't realized they had made, all while crafting memories more beautiful and spectacular than any of us could have ever imagined. All in all, young adulthood is a whirlwind of chaos, and to be completely honest, I wouldn't have it any other way. This period, in my opinion, is akin to literature that has tended to bring eloquence to life's explorations of the broad, interrelated, and often fraught notions that contribute to "identity," reconciling somehow permission and prohibition, fact and social construct. This is a time that is allowing us to revel in and negotiate around the mutability of identity.
Young adulthood, in my experience, is so elegant and so hard. It is jolted together by events that are wonderful and terrible, magical and meh. These events don't cancel each other out; they just layer up on top of each other, making our lives, as a whole, richer. As we grow up, we realize that "everything happens for a reason" is just a magnificent lie we like to believe in. There's no seven-step plan to constant purple-pink skies and magical floaty feelings. No algorithm ensures that if actions and intentions are good, then life should be good. There isn't always a reason behind darkness, but there's always beauty in it. There's always love in it, and every now and then, it'll feel like more than enough. I believe adulthood has allowed me to sharpen my mental faculties to ask why and why not, and then push the boundaries to find the answer. I believe this phase of my life has shaken me up from sleepwalking and has created space for magic to seep in. Yes, more often than not, adulthood feels like a quagmire filled with transient friendships, piles of bills to pay, and never enough time for the things we want, all while having to make life-altering decisions. But in truth, it's the perfect time to build your "identity capital." You know how Rachel said in Friends, "It's like all my life, everyone always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!' Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a purse, you know, or a hat!" This time, right now, is the perfect time for being a purse or a hat or the whole dang closet. This is the time for us to discover ourselves, or better yet build ourselves. Now, you can Sephora your way into plump, dewy skin. As for me, the thing I love most about adulthood is that I can have an entire chocolate cake for breakfast, and nobody can stop me.
Until next time.
Xoxo
