Ep. 4/ ‘Tis the Season
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la!
It's that holly, jolly time of the year when a subtle crispness embraces the air. Hot chocolates, and even hotter teas and coffees, are being served all around. Evening strolls get a facelift with gorgeously lit pathways, while we are snugly wrapped in thick scarves and even thicker jackets. As I write this, a gentle flurry of snow pirouettes outside my window, draping everything in a magnificent, almost ethereal, blanket of serene white.
This enchanting time of the year transforms every weekend into a feast of classic Christmas movies—from Love Actually to Home Alone, The Holiday to Die Hard, and A Christmas Carol to The Grinch. Each day, as I walk down the hallways of my apartment building, I can smell the scent of cinnamon, vanilla, ginger, and pine wafting through the air. Sweet aromas from kitchens resonate with the promise of freshly baked cookies and gingerbread houses. The crackling of fires in hearths and fireplaces becomes a background symphony to the echoes of laughter as families and friends gather.
On the days that I go into the city, I notice festive markets coming to life, adorned with vibrant decorations and the cheerful hustle and bustle of holiday shoppers. In the suburbs, the sound of carolers harmonizing fills the air, creating a melodic backdrop to the season's merriment. As daylight fades, neighborhoods twinkle with an array of colorful lights, transforming the mundane into something mesmeric.
While it is a time for brewing memories and dancing in the mystique allure of the season, it is also the time when the calendar practically aches to turn, beckoning the moment when pen meets paper, crafting a list of goals for the upcoming year. Now is when we ought to be ready to compile our dreams and aspirations into a tapestry of resolutions, weaving the charm of the season into the promise of a bright and hopeful tomorrow.
My Resolution list and vision board summon me for careful curation to provide direction for the next 365 days of my life. I have made New Year’s resolutions every year since I turned 22, and every year I have had this habit of going with things that are trendy, sensible, and logical. Whether it was improving my grades, losing those few extra kilos, or saving more money, my resolutions have almost always been something obvious and rational. And I get that on paper nothing seems necessarily wrong with that idea, but I have never really stuck with them. So there has to be an issue. Even when I achieve them, it isn’t ever because they are my “New Year’s resolutions.” They just kind of happen. It isn’t premeditated. Truth be told, I almost always forget about my resolutions by February 1st, if not before that.
But this year I want to break the pattern. My hope is to be mindful when making these choices and then stick with them throughout the year. Or at least having a darn good reason to pivot from them. This year I want to be really intentional with my resolutions list and my vision board so that it transcends from being just a pretty little personal tradition to a deliberate guide. The goal is not merely achieving resolutions but living them with purpose and commitment throughout the year. This time, my resolutions shall not be forgotten, fading into oblivion; they shall be lived, meticulously designed, and deliberately pursued.
So, the question now becomes: How do I go about achieving this desired outcome? Well, I am going to let you in on my secret recipe for that. (PSA: I just came up with this, like two weeks ago or so, therefore, if it doesn’t work out, we’ll chat again next year.)
I have realized what works really well for me is understanding why I want to do something. I become exponentially more productive if, in my head, there’s a good reason for me to be doing something. When I have a strong enough why, I tend to be able to endure a lot of different hows. Even when the process takes me beyond my comfort zone, I persist because I am cognizant of the reasoning behind it. So for me, clearly the first step is to figure out why any particular thing needs to be on my resolutions list. Why do I want to achieve a particular goal? To find out this, I have looked at my answers to these three questions:
What are my core values and principles?
I believe a person's core values and principles form the bedrock of their being. These elements act as an unseen compass, guiding every decision and shaping one's identity. When an action becomes intertwined with someone's identity, the commitment to excel becomes inevitable. Actions consciously guided by core values and principles are fueled by an inherent belief system, lending authenticity to the pursuit of life. As per my current understanding of myself and the stage I presently find myself in life, my core values include, but are not limited to (and in no particular order):
Love for Family and Friends: Prioritizing the well-being of my loved ones is of extreme importance to me. They are, therefore, I am.
Continuous Learning: I highly value professional, personal, and spiritual growth. Remaining committed to continually renewing my understanding of these through various means is the only way to achieve that.
Compassion and Respect: Showing understanding, empathy, and a desire to alleviate the suffering of others, while treating them with kindness and consideration, regardless of any differences I might have with them, is an essential quality for me.
Equality and Personal Accountability: Believing in fairness and equal opportunities for all and holding myself responsible for the actions and decisions I take and their impact on others is of utmost significance to me.
Any goal that is either supported by or contributes to the exercise of these values allows me to feel fulfilled and gratified, and I naturally gravitate towards working on them.What do I want my legacy to be?
By this, I don’t mean some grand idea of how I want to impact the whole wide world or what achievements and accomplishments I hope strangers on the internet will remember me for after I die. I am a basic girl with a basic understanding of this: How do I want to be remembered by my loved ones? What do I hope my nephew will one day tell his grandchildren about his mausi (aunt)? Or in even more simplistic terms: When I walk out of a room, how do I want people to talk about me? (Now, I do understand that people’s perception of me is affected by a bundle of other things, things that do not have a lot to do with who I really am, but I am talking about what energy I want to put out in a room. This is about what I want them to remember about me, not necessarily what they actually will.) And to clarify, this might not be the person I currently am; this is the overarching persona that I want to build and work towards until the end of my time.
For me, I genuinely want to be remembered as a kind, generous, and attentive person. I want to be graceful and confident. I want to be someone who does the things she does, well. I want to be intelligent, perceptive, and wise. I want to be understanding. I want to be the kind of person who, when you touch them with your cold hands, they gasp and pull you closer, hold you gently until you start feeling warmth coursing through your body. I want you to feel safe with me so that you can enjoy life, and feel your feelings the way you want to, the way it makes sense to you. Life is too hard for too many people. I want to be gentle. I want to bring gentleness to the lives of the people around me. I also want to be fun. Someone that you actually enjoy spending time with. Someone whose life story is exciting, loving, and unadulterated.
Anything that makes me feel like it’s helping me build that legacy is something that I am effortlessly and automatically excited about. There’s an unconscious want to work on such things.
What are my strengths and what’s cool to me?
Now, these are things that I am either somewhat proficient at or that genuinely energize and fascinate me. For example, writing—I am not exceptionally skilled at it, but I thoroughly enjoy it. Or dancing—really, really bad at it, but it brings me immense pleasure and is incredibly fun (and it’s the only kind of physical activity that piques my interest). I think my work is something that I feel invigorated by and is quite interesting to me. I find reading anything about my work and beyond quite exhilarating. Spending time with my family and friends or simply talking to them always leaves me inspired and all fired up.
Obviously, pursuits that I find fun, cool, and aligned with my strengths are instinctively compelling to me.
Now that I have answers to this set of questions that act as an umbrella for major target setting for me, the next step is to devise tangible and actionable resolutions to address the challenge of aligning goals with these intentions. And for that, I looked at repeating themes and things that I am especially excited by at the moment. This is the list of five things that I have come up with so far:
Prioritizing checking up on my extended family and friends more often than I currently do and expressing my gratitude towards them.
Reading more eclectic books and writing more often as a commitment to continuous personal and spiritual growth.
Upskill myself in the field I work in.
Dance (move) more often for the betterment of my physical and emotional health.
Experience at least 5 things this year that are purely fun and exciting.
In the glorious year ahead, I'm gearing up to tackle these resolutions armed with enough enthusiasm to power a small spaceship, all in the noble pursuit of crafting a legacy that screams, "Yep, that's the pretty little masterpiece I call myself!" Will I triumph over these resolutions, or will they pull a disappearing act faster than a magician's rabbit? Stay tuned for the epic saga of determination, distractions, and a dash of humor—because life's too short for dull resolutions and boring plotlines! May this brilliantly joyous season continue to guide us all, dear reader, through the chapters of the year ahead imbued with mirth and merriment.
Until next time.
Xoxo
